Growing Beyond Trauma: Anita’s Story

In the dusty pathways of Nakivale Refugee Settlement, Uganda, 25-year-old Anita skips rope with her children, her face beaming with joy. It’s a simple act, but one that represents a profound transformation in her. As her children, who are six and three, hold either end of the rope, Anita skips with the carefree abandon of someone reclaiming their childhood.

For Anita, this moment is about more than play—it’s about redemption. Growing up as a refugee, Anita endured a childhood stripped of joy. She and her family were forced to flee their native Burundi when she was just seven. In Nakivale, she faced overcrowded shelters, her father’s illness and death, and the crushing responsibility of caring for eight siblings instead of attending school. Play felt like a waste of time; survival was all she knew. The stress left her angry and isolated, unable to connect even with her own children. “All my life I was never happy,” she say.

Yet today, as she laughs with her daughter and son, Anita is rewriting her story. Her eyes reflect both the pain of her past and the hope in her present. The shift began when she joined Right To Play’s Play To Grow program, which taught her the healing power of play—not just for her children, but for herself.

A CHILDHOOD LOST

Anita’s family was forced to flee their native Burundi during the country’s destructive civil war. The transition to Nakivale was difficult for seven-year-old Anita.

One of Africa’s oldest and largest refugee settlements, Nakivale spans 185 square kilometres of arid plains in southwestern Uganda. Established in 1958, it is home to refugees from Burundi, the Democratic Republic of Congo, Rwanda, and other conflict-ridden areas. Nakivale operates as an integrated settlement where refugees live alongside Ugandan nationals, farming small plots of land or running businesses. Yet life remains harsh: resources are scarce, droughts frequent, and trauma lingers for those who have fled war.

“When we left Burundi and came here, they put us in a tent where they receive refugees,” Anita recalls. “Staying in that tent with so many other people was difficult because we were used to staying in our own homes.”

The situation worsened when Anita’s father fell ill. “It was not easy after my dad’s death. He was sick for a long time,” she says, her voice softening. “We sold all the things we had to look after our dad, but he ended up dying and we were left in worse poverty than when he was still with us.”

As the eldest of nine children, Anita’s childhood abruptly ended when she had to drop out of school to help support her family. Her days were spent doing odd jobs, digging in people’s gardens to earn money for her family. While other children played, Anita worked. “I would go with my mom to work. She would go in one direction and I would go in another to find food,” she explains. “It hurt me so much as I grew up because I never got the chance to go to school.”

THE CYCLE CONTINUES

The absence of play and affection in Anita’s childhood shaped her approach to parenting. When she had her own three children, she struggled to connect with them emotionally.

“Because I never got to play, I thought play was a waste of time,” she admits. “I thought all children needed was food, and they would be fine. No one ever played with me or spoke to me as a child, so I did not even think children needed much attention.”

Anita’s inability to connect was not limited to her family. “Because of how I grew up, whenever I would try to get close to people, it would be scary. I did not know how to interact with people,” she explains. “I did not know how to joke. If someone touched me, I would beat them. I would stick to myself; I did not want anyone to come near me because I was not used to it.”

Overcoming Trauma With Play

Everything changed when Anita’s son brought home a note from school requesting parents to attend a new training program. Anita was reluctant, but she decided to go.

The training was part of Right To Play’s Play To Grow program, funded by the LEGO Foundation. Adapted for refugee contexts like Isingiro and Adjumani districts, the program equips parents of children aged three to six with strategies to support early childhood development, literacy, and numeracy through responsive parenting and playful learning.

“When we reached there, they told us the importance of playing with our children and being free with them, but it was not easy for me because I felt it was a joke to play with children when I have work to do,” remembers Anita. But she decided to try.

The Play To Grow program builds on a successful pilot initiative implemented across seven refugee and urban communities in Uganda and Tanzania, which demonstrated remarkable results: 87% of caregivers reported a positive attitude toward responsive parenting and play, while 82% engaged in six or more playful activities with their children weekly. Perhaps most significantly, 66% of parents stopped using harsh punishment—a critical shift in communities where stress runs high.

But as Anita continued attending the sessions, she began to notice changes in herself and her family. “Knowing the program of Play To Grow helped me a lot because after knowing it, a lot changed in my life and in my home,” she says.

LEARNING TO PLAY, LEARNING TO LIVE

Parent educators in the Play To Grow program taught Anita more than just how to play with her children—they taught her how to connect with them emotionally and create a nurturing environment.

For Anita, who had never experienced the joy of play herself, these lessons were transformative. “My children are now free with me, they wake up and greet me. They say, ‘Good morning, Mummy,’” she shares with a smile.

The program also helped Anita understand the importance of education, something she had missed out on herself. “The worst part was it took me a while to realize the importance of school, that my children could become teachers or doctors,” she reflects.

She now prepares her children for school with care, ensuring they have their books and requirements ready.

Through Play To Grow, Anita has discovered the power of play not just for her children, but for herself as well. “Before, I thought the only important thing in life was work. But play has brought a new light, happiness in my life.”

“Nowadays, I make time for my children even when I have work. I make room for them to play and enjoy themselves,” says Anita.

The Play To Grow program, implemented by Right To Play with funding from the LEGO Foundation, empowers refugee parents in Uganda to foster early childhood development through play-based learning.